Mine Forever: The Beginning (Chapter 8)

Chapter 8 - Javon

Nine-Years-Old

When we got to the park, Billie's mom and Everett's mom introduced themselves. Billie brought her toys and so did he. I went to play on the swings while they played together in the sandbox. I slid down the slide, watching them from afar. Then, Everett waved me over, asking me to play. My confused eyebrows shot up on my face. I was shocked that he wanted me to join them. I went over and played for a little while, then went back to playing by myself. I believed he was asking me to play more for Billie's sake than for mine.

While in the car, Billie's mom asked why I didn't play?

"Oh. I was letting Billie play with him." As I fidgeted with my fingers, I didn't know how to express it out loud at that moment. I just wanted to do the right thing. Instead of keeping Billie all to myself, I thought it was only fair to let her have friendships with other people, especially since I knew she would always be my best friend.

Her mom nodded. "That's very noble of you," she said, seeming to understand my actions.

Billie looked at me, giving me a sweet smile--something I always looked forward to.

I lay in bed thinking about the day. Billie was truly special. I hoped Everett knew that.

As time went on, Everett and Billie were hanging out more without me. Billie would tell me about their playdates. She seemed comfortable being around him. I was glad. Sometimes they would go out to eat together with their parents or to the park. They went to his house to play a couple of times. She would tell me everything that they did together. I wasn't worried. She was still my best friend. She would call me late at night to talk to me about what was on her mind when I didn't see her on the weekend. It was so nice to hear her voice.

We would still study together after school. Sometimes, we still had sleepovers and we still had movie nights.

On special dinner dates with my parents, I made sure she was there to tie my tie. I would leave it untied just for her.

"I wanna do it." She bounced up and down.

"Okay." I chuckled.

I liked watching her because she seemed to enjoy it. She would give me a friendly hug and then leave, so I could have the night with my parents. I wanted her to come with us at least one time.

I finally asked my parents and they let her come along. She wore one of her cute flowing dresses. I let her tie my tie, biting my cheek to calm my jitters. After she finished, she told me I looked nice.

"Thanks, so do you," I said, smiling.

My parents sat next to one another and Billie and I sat beside each other. I smiled on the inside and out. The waitress asked if we were brother and sister.

"No. She's my best friend," I said.

"Oh. That's cute," said the waitress.

My parents looked over at us, smirking.

Riding home in the car, Billie and I played thumb wrestling. Billie was very clever. She won two games and I won one. I loved our friendship. Eventually, she fell asleep on my shoulder. When she arrived home, I didn't want her to go, but I gently shook her awake. She wiped her eyes. My mom and I walked her to the door and she hugged me good night. Then, my mom hugged her. After she went inside, I felt sad. I went home, thinking about her. I wanted to hang out with her longer. I guess there was never enough time to hang out with my best friend.

I wanted to spend time with her the next day but she had a playdate with Everett. Ugh! Everett.

Of course, she called and told me everything that happened. They went to the park. He brought a few of his friends and his cousin along. She said she had fun.

On Monday, Mrs. Ward told us about a spelling bee she was having for the class. We were going to have partners. It was a group effort. She said it would help bring up the grades of a number of students in the class. My grades in spelling were perfect. Billie's were pretty good as well.

"I have already made up the teams," said Mrs. Ward.

Everett looked back at Billie, grinning.

Billie clutched my hand. I looked down at our hands. She must have been nervous because her hand was wet.

"Billie," I whispered.

I don't think she heard me, so I squeezed her hand. And she looked at me. I mouthed the words "Are you okay?"

She nodded.

Mrs. Ward began naming the teams of people. Then it was my turn.

"Okay, Everett, Javon, and Greyson."

Billie squeezed my hand. I knew she wanted to be paired with me. I wanted to be paired with her too. It was Billie's turn.

"Billie, Deena, and Harper."

Billie waved her hand frantically.

"Billie?" said Mrs. Ward.

"Can I be on Javon's team?"

"No Billie. You and Javon are strong spellers. You can help your team."

Her eyes were wet. She raised her hand again.

"Billie?" said Mrs. Ward.

"Can I go to the girls' room?" Billie asked.

"Sure, sweetie."

Billie walked up to get the pass, hanging on a nail in the front of the classroom. I knew she needed me. So, I waited a few seconds before asking to leave. I waited outside the girls' room for her. She walked out and hugged me.

"I want to be on your team," she said.

"I know. I want to be on your team too." I hugged her close. "We'll be okay," I said.

"You promise?" she asked with worry in her voice.

"Yup." I tickled her. She laughed. I placed my arm around her shoulders and we walked back to the classroom together.

When we went outside for recess, she jumped rope with the girls. Everett sat on the bench playing with the cars, so I joined him.

"She really likes you doesn't she?" he asked.

"Yeah, we're best friends."

"No. She likes you for more than that. I think you like her too."

"Oh. Uh. I think we're just friends." I didn't know what to say. I knew I liked her as a friend. I remember what I said to her last year, but we were really close as friends. Of course, I felt something more, and she probably did too. But right now, I knew we were better as friends. Plus, I realized we were so young. Despite all my rambling thoughts, the answer to his question. Did she like me? Probably. Did I like her? Yes, I did.

"It's okay. She's cool, though. I like having her as a friend."

"Me too," I said, grinning.

"So how do you want to study for spelling? It's really hard for me."

"Oh. Well, we can take turns going over each other houses I guess," I suggested.

"Okay."

After we got permission from our parents, we started having study sessions together. Billie told me she was doing the same with her team.

I went over to my classmate's homes sometimes and they came over to mine. We practiced and practiced.

Everyone seemed pretty prepared for the match.

I asked Billie if she wanted to have a mini-spelling bee with her team. We arranged to have it at my house. My mom set snacks out. We were prepared. I was feeling pretty competitive.

The guys seemed to be focused. My mom was the judge. We ate snacks and drinks until Billie's entire team arrived.

"Girls," said Greyson with a wide toothy grin.

When they arrived. We talked for a while and ate more snacks. We were in the living room talking when two girls on Billie's team began arguing about something. Billie and I ducked the crowd and snuck away near another couch. We lay on our stomachs on the floor, resting our cheeks against our hands. We faced one another while staring and talking. She told me she wanted to be on my team. I told her the same while smiling at one another. Then, we talked about what we were going to do over the remainder of the weekend when Harper came over to try to pick Billie up, wrapping her arms around Billie's waist. She was almost as small as Billie.

"Ow," said Billie.

"Don't hurt her," I said.

"No speaking to the enemy," Harper grunted, trying to pull Billie. Then, she placed Billie on the ground. Deena came over to join her pulling her other arm and they pulled together.

"Now that I can agree on," said Greyson. Everett pulled on one of my legs and Greyson pulled on the other. I waved at her. Then I stood up and they released Billie from their grip.

I shook my head. "What's up with you guys?"

"You heard Harper. No speaking to the enemy."

"Guys, it's not a big deal."

"It will be," said Greyson.

It was time to start. My mom explained the rules. If we were unsure about the word, we could ask if she would recite it in a sentence, and the first person to raise their hand had permission to spell the word after my mom gave the nod of approval.

Everyone nodded in agreement. Then, my mom rambled off the first word.

"Nuisance," said my mom, peering at the list of words in her hand.

I raised my hand, spelling the word.

Deena stuck her tongue out at me.

"Be nice guys," my mom warned. She wrote our points down on a whiteboard that she bought out of her home office--placing a line in the center, labeling one side boys and the other, girls.

"Carpenter," she said.

I

raised my hand, spelling it correctly. That was another point. We high-fived.

"Arrangement." My mom used it in a sentence.

Billie raised her hand, spelling it correctly.

"Redundant," said my mom. Deena raised her hand, asking if she can recite it in a sentence; she did. Deena made an attempt but spelled it incorrectly.

Everett raised his hand, spelling it correctly.

"Consistent."

Harper answered. The answer was incorrect.

"Try again," Everett teased, cupping his hand over his mouth. My mom wagged a warning finger toward him.

I raised my hand, spelling it correctly.

"Resistance," said my mom.

I raised my hand, spelling it right.

"Opportunity."

Grayson raised his hand, spelling it wrong.

Deena scoffed.

"Okay, guys. Nice remember," said my mom.

Harper raised her hand, spelling it correctly.

"Flammable."

Billie raised her hand, answering it correctly.

The next couple of words her team spelled correctly.

Then, my team spelled a few words correctly.

We continued to go back and forth.

We were up by two. It was the last word. Harper raised her hand, spelling it correctly.

We still won by one point.

My mom congratulated each team but left the room shortly after, allowing us to hang out for a little while. We ate snacks and talked.

"Boys are smarter than boys. That's why we won," said Grayson.

"I might have to agree," said Everett.

"Okay. You guys can stop bragging. You're not smarter than us," said Deena.

I agreed. Billie was a genius.

"Girls don't have brains," retorted Greyson.

"Don't say that. We're smart," said Billie, defensively.

I took a sip of my drink, not wanting to get involved.

"No you're not," said Greyson. "Girls are boring and they're stinky."

Everett chuckled. I shook my head in disbelief. Billie wasn't stinky. She smelled so good. Her fruity scent clung to my dreams.

"That's not nice. Take that back," said Billie.

"Nope."

"You're a jerk. Boys suck," said Deena to Greyson.

"You take that back," said Greyson.

"I will not," said Deena, placing her hand on her hip.

"Well boys are trash," said Harper. "No one likes boys. They are scum."

Greyson stood up.

"You're scum. You're scum, and you're scum," he pointed at each girl.

"Wait," I said, holding up my hand.

"Javon stay out of it," said Everett.

I frowned but didn't respond. Maybe he was right. Maybe I should stay out of it. But Billie...

"Look that just proves guys are scum. Javon isn't even taking up for his friend," said Deena.

I looked at Billie. Her eyes were wet.

"I want to go home," Billie said, rubbing her eyes.

"No. Billie--" I protested.

"You guys are mean. I don't like any of you. You all are jerks," said Billie

"Billie, you don't mean that right?" I felt the tears in my eyes. I turned to wipe them away. Hearing her say those words hurt my heart.

"Yes, I do."

Tears slipped down her face. She went into the kitchen to stand next to the door. I tried standing beside her but she moved away.

"Leave her alone Javon," said Deena. "She doesn't like you. Didn't you hear her." The girls stood beside Billie, rubbing her back.

"Yeah, you guys suck," said Harper.

"You suck," said Everett.

Me and the guys walked back into the living room, sitting silently on the couch.

My mom walked into the living room to check on us.

"What's going out here?" My mom asked, pointing with her thumb.

"Nothing," I said.

"Why are the girls near the door?"

I shrugged, not wanting anyone to get into trouble.

She went over to talk to them. Then, she made us all apologize. I could tell Billie was still hurting. She kept her distance from me. I didn't know what to do. I wasn't involved. I was trying to stay out of it. Obviously, that was a bad idea.

Soon, everyone's parents came to pick them up and my mom and I walked Billie home. She was silent all the way there. I really hope I didn't lose my best friend. I needed her.

That night, I tried to call her but she didn't answer. I tried texting her, telling her I'm sorry. But I didn't get a response.

I spent the weekend without hearing her voice. It was lonely and sad. I missed her. I sat in tears. My mom came into my room, trying to comfort me.

"She'll come around," she said.

I really hoped so. I was used to us talking every day. Maybe I should stop by her house.

"Should I go over there?" I asked my mom.

"No, Javon. Give her time. She'll come around."

I nodded.

Monday rolled around. It was time for school again. I really wanted to make a sincere effort to regain Billie's trust and friendship. I smiled as I sat down next to her but she didn't even look at me. At lunch, she ate with Deena and the girls. I sat with the guys.

"She still isn't talking to you?" asked Everett.

"Nope," I said.

"Who needs her then?" he scoffed. "She isn't talking to me either."

"Yeah, but I need her." I put my hands on the table, laying my head on them, then gave a loud sigh.

He put his hand on my back.

"You're crying over her," spat Greyson. "I'm going over there right now."

I wasn't actually crying, but I sure felt like it.

"No Greyson," I shouted, sitting up. But he was already walking over there.

"You got my boy over there crying and you're laughing with your friends." He pointed at our table. "You're not a real friend. You really are scum," he shouted.

I watched Billie wipe her face.

Deena raised her hand, getting the lunch attendants' attention. She came over to their table. They explained what happened and she escorted Greyson out.

Poor Billie, I thought.

As I walked past her table, I apologized but I didn't look at her.

When I got home, I got a text from her.

Billie: Why didn't you defend me?

Me: I'm sorry. I should have

Billie: You are not a good friend. I don't know if we can be friends anymore

I called her.

"Billie, why are you treating me like I said those things?"

"You let him call me scum," she said with force.

"I'm sorry, but I don't think that. I don't think I deserve you treating me like I said those things, though."

"It's okay. We don't have to be friends anyway. But it was nice being your friend. I should probably start hanging out with girls. It's better for me."

"Fine. Hang out with girls. I hope you have fun. I don't care anymore," I said in a frustrated breath.

"Fine." She hung up.

At school, she hung out with her friends and I hung out with mine. We didn't speak all week and I cried every night. My heart ached.

***

It was the week of the spelling bee. My head and heart were not in the game. In the end, it was down to her team and mine. Her team won. A part of me wanted her to win. I only hoped I didn't sabotage my team. Mrs. Ward said everyone did well and it would help many improve in the classroom. Everett went over and congratulated them. They hesitantly shook his hand. Greyson didn't go near them, neither did I. I just stared in the distance. Billie glanced my way a few times. How could this happen? One minute we were best friends, the next we weren't speaking?

During recess, I kept hanging out with the boys. It didn't make me feel better. She was all I could think about.

But I buried myself in my books. My grades continued at the honors level. I needed her. I even texted her and told her that. She texted me back, telling me I was selfish and to leave her alone.

I wish I could. Then she said something that hurt my heart, and I knew I would leave her alone forever.

Billie: You are filthy just like every other boy, and I don't want to talk to you again.

That was it. She would get what she wanted.

I kept my distance. I didn't even want to sit next to her. I moved to an empty seat in the corner of the classroom.

"You can't keep changing your seat. I don't want people to start playing musical chairs," Mrs. Ward warned.

"Okay." I slid down in my seat, wanting to vanish.

I didn't speak to Billie. I didn't look at Billie, but I did think about our friendship. It was awesome. I didn't know if I would find a friend like her again. I lay down thinking about her, wondering if she thought about me. I cried myself to sleep. When would I get over this?

The next day, I asked my parents if I could go to another school.

"No Javon," said my dad. "You and Billie need to work through this. Don't run away."

"But I don't like her at all."

"You do Javon. You love her," said my mom.

Love her? No. I think it was a strong dislike. My stomach ached. I put my hands over my eyes. I needed to get some fresh air. I sat on the porch. Billie was walking past. She looked so pretty in her jeans and top. She was walking alone. Why was she walking past my house? She didn't look at me. She just kept walking up the street, while tears welled up in my eyes. I dashed into the house. I didn't want to see her. I didn't want her to see me cry. I peeked out the kitchen window. She began walking back toward her house. It looked as if she was wiping her face. She probably wasn't, though. She just wanted to torture me. Feeling a burn in my heart, I texted her.

Me: Why are you doing this?

Billie: Why can't you leave me alone?

Me: Because you are walking past my house.

Billie: I can walk anywhere I please

Me: Please don't walk past my house

Billie: Or what?

Me: Or I might pull you in and tickle you

I wanted to see her response, but she did not text back. I thought I was done with her, but I guess I wasn't. I still needed her.

I went outside, riding my bike past her house. She was sitting on her porch. I was looking at her as I zoomed past. Not paying attention, I smacked into a tree. I fell off but I was conscious. I lay there for a minute. I think I was seeing stars. Then, I saw her beautiful face standing over me. Was I seeing things?

"What are you doing?" She had tears in her eyes.

"I don't know. What are you doing?" I asked, sounding as if the wind was knocked out of me.

"Whatever Javon. Are you trying to kill yourself?" She huffed, folding her arms over her chest.

"Of course not." I stood up, brushing myself off.

"Good." She began walking away.

"So it's good?"

"Yes, it's good that you don't ride your bike. I hope you won't." Her back was to me.

"I won't."

"Good." She appeared as if she was wiping her face, again and her voice trembled.

I touched her back, but she jerked away from my hand.

"Billie, I need you."

"Need me over your house. And stop riding your bike, please." She darted away. She was worried again about my bike riding. I guess she should be, considering I just crashed into a tree.

"Okay, I will," I shouted.

I would stop for her. That's what she wanted last year. I would do it this year too. I texted her after I walked inside the house.

Me: I will do it for you, Billie. I promise.

I flopped onto the couch.

Billie: What part of leave me alone don't you understand? Stop texting me. I don't want you in my life

Me: I don't believe you

Billie: I don't. You are being a pest. And good, don't ride your bike.

Me: You still care

Billie: Yup

Me: You do?

My insides brightened.

Billie: Yup

My heart banged with excitement. Billie still cared. Should I go over to her house? No. I would leave her alone. If she cared, maybe my mom was right, she would come around.

***

The weeks passed and she would glance at me as I sat with my friends. I just wanted to grab her and hug her. But I needed to be patient.

Then, another week passed. Didn't she miss me? I strolled over to her house, and sat on the porch, waiting. A few minutes later Billie arrived. I guess she just finished taking a walk.

She stood on the bottom of the steps, staring up at me. "What are you doing here?" she asked, folding her arms.

"I miss you."

"That's nice."

"Do you miss me?" I asked.

"Yes. I mean no." Tears crept from the corners of her eyes. She wiped them away as quickly as they escaped.

"Come here," I stood up, trying to wave her up.

"Leave me alone."

"No. I can't."

"Please. I don't want you in my life."

"How can you drop me so easily?" I asked.

"Because you aren't a good friend."

"Okay. I wasn't. I'm sorry." My voice trembled.

"I need girlfriends. I don't know why you want to be my friend." She placed her hand on her chest.

"Because you're awesome."

She wiped her face and sniffled.

"Just come here," I waved her up, again.

"No," she retorted, backing away from me.

This was so hard. I fell onto the porch. I was fighting for our friendship, and she was ready to let it go.

I put my head in my hands. If that's what she wanted, I would give her what she wanted.

I walked down the steps and past her.

"Goodbye, Bille." I walked away without looking back. I needed Billie, but if she didn't want me in her life, I could no longer beg. I had to get over our friendship.